Australia

Wednesday 24 January: Melbourne

We landed in Melbourne at 9.15am. The first thing we did after checking into our hotel was to buy a pair of sunglasses (I broke mine as soon as I arrived) and two phones to use in Australia. Mine is flash, Carl's is NOT!! Later we took a tram to Melbourne beach. It took ages to cross the road to actually get to the beach and once we did cross the road it was too windy, so we crossed back over and went straight to the pub - called The Beach. We didn't really do much all day apart from drink and catch up with Nikki and James (ex-Freshfields).

Thursday 25 January:

Today we visited Melbourne Aquarium which is fantastic. We were going to dive inside the tank with the sharks but we saw another couple do it and decided it was too tacky because you could be seen by everyone. There is also a stimulator ride at the end which throws you all over the place. It would have been prefect if it wasn't for the little ones screaming. We walked along Yarra River (very pretty) which is lined with restaurants and bars. Later on in the evening we went to Lygon Street. It's known as Little Italy and, again, is lined with restaurants and bars. We went into an ice-cream shop where there was a choice of about 50 different flavours.

Friday 26 January:

Today we had a bar-b-que arranged with Nikki's family. The weather was amazing and there was also a solar powered swimming pool. I didn't get into the pool until about 8pm which was very wrong. I should have got in when the sun was out. It was nice in the pool but very cold getting out. Carl had to stay in the shade because he was already sunburnt. Even when he walked down the street he made sure he had as much shade as possible by running from shadow to shadow. Sad. The bar-b-que lasted until about 9pm then Carl and I went back to the hotel and played cards until a very late time of 10.30pm.

Saturday 27 January:

This was the hen day for Nikki. We were driven to Rye which is about an hour and a half from Melbourne and on the coast. When we left Melbourne it was raining, windy and dull but luckily in Rye the sun was smiling down on us. As we were driving we suddenly stopped at the side of the road, I didn't know why, but there was a Koala half way up the tree so it was quite close. Apparently it's very unusual to see a Koala in such a public place like that. It was facing us and was fast asleep. It didn't even know we were there. I tried to take pictures but didn't know how to use my 'flash' phone so I accidentally recorded it instead. I played it back and you couldn't see anything. Very disappointing indeed. We then went strawberry picking which didn't last as long as I wanted it to. By the end of it all the girls had over filled their pullets but because I was looking for the perfect, red strawberry I had only picked about ten. I had been eating a few on the way round though. After having a late lunch at a really nice restaurant we decided to head back to the city. A few of us went to The Beach and did shot after shot after shot. Then it was time to go back to the hotel. As my taxi pulled up outside so did Carl's and he was in a bit of a state. I had to pay the taxi fare because for some reason Carl had no intention of getting out. He was perfectly happy chatting to the driver. This was when Nurse Abi took over. I had to practically carry Carl upstairs and to bed. He couldn't talk, see or walk.

Sunday 28 January:

I woke at 9am to the sound of groaning coming from Carl. I knew then that he would have a bad day, making me have a bad day and Nurse Abi would have to strike again. We were meant to be going round to see Nikki's family again to finish off the food and drink but Carl decided he was too sick so we ended up staying in until about 7pm. A wasted day. In the evening we just ordered pizza to the hotel. We attempted to rent a DVD player for $10 and got a choice of three DVDs with it. They were all about 20 years old so we unplugged the DVD and took it back.

Monday 29 January:

We decided to go shopping in the city. After unpacking my clothes for the first time I realised that Carl had been too cruel about what I should pack and what I shouldn't pack. So I bought some cute flat shoes and Carl got some Jesus creepers. In the evening we all went to a Japanese restaurant which was amazing. We sat around the hot table so we had our own chef in the middle. There was so much to eat. The chef played games with us where we had to catch five rice bowls but making sure we caught them in another rice bowl. The last rice bowl thrown was full of rice. The chef also threw his knives around, up over his head, behind his back, you name it that's where he threw it. Nikki's brother, Nicholas, drew the short straw. The chef decided at the end of the evening to chop up the egg and throw it all over him. It was a very funny moment.

Tuesday 30 January:

Today I had laser treatment on my armpits and upper lip. Ladies - you must have this done. Apart from the horrible smell of singed hair it's definately worth it. I won't say anything more than that because I'm not allowed but I could talk about it for ages. After more clothes shopping to get my wardrobe into a decent state while travelling, we went round to the Englands for another bar-b-que then retired to the boozer.

Wednesday 31 January:

There's no point writing anything here because all we did was drink in the sun.

Thursday 1 February:

We all suffered from hangovers from the night before. I finally phoned home to let them know that I was fine and filled them in on all the goings on. We caught a tram to the Docklands and then walked along Yarra River which was full of rowers. We walked for about thirty minutes before we came across the Botanical Gardens which is a really beautiful place. As we sat outside with our scones and cream we were surrounded by these really weird looking birds. I decided to give them my cream pot after I had finished and they got stuck in. They then ran around our feet trying to get the cream off their beaks and head. I bought some running trainers from Nike with the intention of running with Carl each morning. The trouble was that I really, really liked them so I didn't want to ruin them.

Friday 2 February:

After trying unsucessfully for an hour to deflake my scalp (sunburnt head) I put on my hat and we left the hotel to go to Werribee Open Range Zoo - which was about a 40 minute drive away. We went on the little safari bus which took you all around the grounds. The bus was full of little kids. I was quite tired so I would have nodded off if it wasn't for this little girl sitting behind me pulling my hair and knocking my back. From there we all walked the trail around the grounds. We were really impressed by how much space the animals actually have. We saw the usual - Meerkats, lions, monkeys, cheetahs, hippos, etc. All the animals were just lazing around in the heat. After we had seen all the animals we then walked through the Australia wildlife walk. As soon as we walked through the wooden gate there was an Emu in our face but thankfully it moved as soon as we started taking granny steps past it. We saw about seven in total and there were also some baby ones as well which we still as ugly as the adult ones. We saw a sign which said that snakes were open to roam everywhere so please don't make them angry. As if. Luckily there was a drought so we didn't think there would be many around. Then we heard, and then saw, all the Emus going nuts and running after each other so we decided it would be good to get out of there ASAP. It was during our visit to the gift shop that I bought Kinky the Koala who will be appearing in as many photos as possible. Everyone was nodding off on the drive back to the hotel. Luckily the driver's mobile went off just as Carl was about to dribble and it gave him a big fright.

Saturday 3 February:

1 day to go before James and Nicole's wedding. Carl and I had to go out and shop. I needed nail varnish and remover, jewellery, a little handbag and perfume. I knew exactly what I was looking for so we didn't think it would take too long. We went to the bank and Carl withdrew money but when it got to my turn the machine said that I had to speak to my bank. I tried another two cashpoints but still the same message. Carl was making the best effort to try and keep my calm by not talking to me and winding me up but I was too angry. I was thinking that I would have to get the next flight back to Heathrow because I couldn't use my bank to get to my money. A few hours later though when I had finally got in touch with them they had explained that because I had used my card in a dodgy cashpoint twice in two days they had put a stop to it but they activated it straight away for me. I was happy and Carl was relieved that he could now talk to me again. I didn't get all the things I needed for the wedding so I would have to do it tomorrow - the day of the wedding.

Sunday 4 February:

The wedding day! I had a rather long shopping list to do and had little time to do it in. Carl and I went to one department store and managed to buy the whole lot in about 30 minutes. This meant that we could go back to the hotel, have a few beers and relax for an hour.

Nikki (the bride) looked stunning and so did James. The whole day went smoothly and for those of you who know the pair I have inlcluded some pictures of the day. We had a good knees up in the evening.

Monday 5 February:

Today was a lazy day. We stayed in until about 3pm watching TV. We went to James and Nikki's house for a few drinks and to play cards as James and Nikki were staying in the hotel still. We got out of the cab at 8.50pm and we knew the off-licence shut at 9pm so we ran as fast as we could to get there. We got there at 8.53pm and it was shut. Not to be defeated, we then caught a tram (desparate measures) up the road to see if there was anywhere else we could buy booze from, but no. I have to say this is the one thing we have to complain about. Where do you get booz after 8.30pm? Why are the shops shut at 8.30pm when they are selling alcohol? Why can't you get takeouts from the pub? They illegally let you in England as long as you're quiet about it. So many questions. So we ended up taking our cards to the pub and playing Sh!thead.

Tuesday 6 February:

I made our usual breakfast of beans on toast - that's when we don't eat out. I realised that I had left my 'flash' phone in the taxi the nigth before so, again, I wasn't very happy. I called the company but the taxi driver said that he couldn't find it. We headed straight to the internet cafe with two things on the agenda. 1) at least made a dent in our blog; and 2) start looking for campervans because we were running out of time. Carl managed to jot down a number for a campervan and I managed to type out our San Fran experiences. Carl arranged to view the campervan and they said they would bring it to the hotel. They were two germans who had been travelling in the van for five months. The van was OK but I was expecting a little bit more. Actually, now I think about it more, it was a dump and I'm so glad we didn't take it. It was a home-made conversion from a small transit van to a small shed-like campervan. It was pretty cheap but, ehm, no. Carl and I will be living in a campervan for 3 months so we needed it to be perfect so it wipe out any unnecessary arguements coming our way.

Wednesday 7 February:

We went back to the internet cafe to get another number for a campervan I had seen but while I was doing this Carl called up a company called 'Wicked' which our hotel receptionist had told us about a few days before. It was a campervan hire company which happened to be cheaper and safer than buying, plus the paintwork of the campervans are funky and go with my hat. We went there and put a deposit down so we are picking our van up on Saturday.